The funnier side of Althist world: episode 1!
My idea! This is supposed to be a comedic TL taking the rise out of some of the more daft TLs I've seen out there (including some on the more 'plausible' counterpart to this wiki). I congregated some map games, added some spice in the gaps and dropped one or two gags in the 1990's at the other wiki's exspence, with a turn whit. SPQR or QED? FLINT! Nuclar Ned rules OK?! It's a grogan and Rogan?! It's all pure ASB!!! Backstory Don't snort drugs fit of piqué before you read, it's a spoof T.L.! Napoleon’s dreams lay in ruins under the U.K. and Prussia (Germany), oh yeah! Watch it Mr Hitler, a dude has a chair leg with your name on it, sir! George Washinton was helped by E.T.'s older brother, as was Napoleon, who decided not to to invade Russia and focused on eliminating the British threat. After invading Portugal - whose royalty fled to Brazil - , and starting a spectacular naval program, Napoleon took control of the English Channel for 22 days, and invaded England, taking Hastings, Rigate, Ventnor and Dover by storm, and Great Britain nearly surrendered. In the Americas, many areas in New Spain were sold to the United Statesm whilst others fell to the Portuguese, due to major financial problems, and in 1811, America is assaulted by French armed natives. Nepeolion was stopped, but it was even closer cut than in reality. The Confederacy and Comanchira had help from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E.T._the_Extra-Terrestrial E.T.'s older brother and almost won the U.S. civil war! E.T.'s family, the rogue Jeddi Darth Bullshit and the time traveling 21st century Anglo-Indian scientist and weather forcaster Ram Pandit all the interfere with Earth's history there after! The comic time line 1810 *Napoleon annexes the Kingdom of Holland and Frederick Hasselborough discovers Macquarie Island in the sub antarctic. *Colombia and The Republic of West Florida declares independence from Spain. *A new Act of Succession is adopted by the Riksdag of the Estates and Jean Baptiste Bernadotte becomes heir to the Swedish throne. *The Haitian National Peace Treaty of 1810 confirms the nation's division between Gen. de couleur Henri Christophe's autocratic northern State of Haiti and the *Alexandre Pétion's democratic Southern Haitian Republic. E.T.'s smarter and self indulgent brother issue light sabers and photo-grenades to them. *Russia acquires Sukhumi and declares a protectorate over the whole of Abkhazia after a treaty with the Abkhazian dukes. *Amadou Lobbo initiates his jihad in present-day Mali. He gains phasers of E.T.'s more self indulgent and selfish brothers. *The pirates Ching Shih and Chang Pao surrender their ships to the Chinese government. *The first steamboat sails on the Ohio River, but nearly sinks after a Haitian photon-grenade explodes on it. *The scianitst Johann Wolfgang von Goethe publishes his Theory of Colours. *Gujarat refuses to trade with the UK or France. '1811' *The Battle of Barrosa, in the War is a unsuccessful French attack on a larger Anglo-Portuguese-Spanish force attempting to lift the Siege of Cádiz in Spain. The British fleet defeats the French at the Battle of Lissa. The British Navy defeats Denmark Battle of Anholt. Spain, Portugal and Great Britain defeat the French Battle of Albuera. *The Commissioners' Plan for Manhattan is presented to the local authorities. * The Great Comet discovered by Honoré Flaugergues. *Henri Christophe proclaimed him self King Henri I, turning his northern State of Haiti into the Kingdom of Haiti. His forces gain a few light-sabers off the rogue Jeddi Darth Bullshit! *Paraguay and Venezuela declares independence from Spain. Venezuela becomes the first South American country to gain full independence from Spain. The Battle of Las Piedras is fought near Las Piedras, Banda Oriental, resulting in the first victory for the independentists of Uruguay. Revolutionary riots also occur in Buenos Aires. *The Great fire of the Podil breaks out in Kiev, Ukraine. It is quickly put out by a rainstorm caused by a device owned by the time traveling 21st century Anglo-Indian scientist and weather forcaster Ram Pandit! '1812' *A Haitian photon-grenade badly damages the French ship Bucentaure in San-Rochell, killing 6 seamen and injuring 8 others. *An inconclusive encounter between the French vanguard and a Anglo-Dutch force at the Battle of Ypres leads Napoleon to decide to press home his advantage over the UK and the Netherlands. He plans to invade the UK via Sussex and the Ilse of Wight. *James Madison narrowly defeats DeWitt Clinton in the 1812 U.S. presidential election. The Bishop James Madison Society is founded at the College of William & Mary, Williamsburg, Virginia. The Old Oscar Pepper Distillery (now the Woodford Reserve Distillery), the oldest Kentucky Bourbon distillery, is established along Glenn's Creek in Woodford County, Kentucky. The USS Constitution defeats the British frigate HMS Java off the coast of Brazil. * The 1812 general election in the United Kingdom sees a heavy victory for the Tory Party lead by Lord Robert Jenkinson, 2nd Earl of Liverpool. *The first volume of Grimm's Fairy Tales is published. He briefly mentions a troll with a light-saber in passing reference to a rumor about there use in Haiti! *The capital of Finland is moved from Turku to Helsinki. '1813' *France's Canon de 6 système An XI was founded in Douay in 1813. 6 are bought by San-Domingo. *Prof Ram Pandit causes an unusual heavy rainstorm over northern Mexico causing massive plant growth. '1814' *Albanian, Bulgarian, Ukrainian and Romanian politicians, priests, noblemen and boyers request further freedom for there people as peasants, artisans and merchants riot in several cities against colonial rule by Austria, Russia and Turkey and kill a Ottoman (Turkish) army currier in Bucharest. *Prof Ram Pandit causes a second unusualy heavy rainstorm over northern Mexico causing massive plant growth. *West Florida joins the USA and East Florida is sold to the USA. '1815' *The Grand Coalition collapses due to conspiracy and resentment between the members, and soon *France has occupied most of western Europe except for Prussia which it has wanted as an *official trading and military partner, and Prussia is allowed to annex the German city-states and form the German Empire, which quickly signs a trading and military treaty with France. *In America, which had sided with the Coalition, anarchy is near control due to the Coalitions defeat, making French hatred of the United States grow hugely and due to Canada being French as well as British Colombia and Vancouver bordering the USA along its entire northern border. *Simón Bolívar receives military and financial assistance from Haiti. *The Chinese Empiorer is temporaly ill with a bunion after visting Shanghai for 2 weeks. *Prof Ram Pandit causes another unusually heavy rainstorm over northern Mexico causing massive plant growth. '1815.5' *http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E.T._the_Extra-Terrestrial E.T.'s smarter brother sees all this and becomes angry, so he gives some titanium-steel compounds to the metallurgists and shaymen of the Sioux, Mayans, Swiss confederacy , Chinese Empire, Japanese Empire, Dutch, Czechs, Poles, Slovaks, the Mogul Empire, Persia, Ottoman Empire, USA, British Empire, Spanish Empire, and Portuguese Empire, to maintain world stability. He gives a small supply of plastic explosives to the Dutch Empire, Czechs, Poles, Slovaks, the Mogul Empire and Persia. *Simón Bolívar receives more military and financial assistance from Haiti. *ET's older brother then gives similar aid to the Comanche and Sioux. '1816.0' *The USA: Expansion and settling westward is greatly encouraged by the defeated American government, and the Indians are dealt with less humanely than even the worse timelines, being wiped out of the United States or herded onto small reservations. *Prof Ram Pandit causes another unusually heavy rainstorm over northern Mexico causing massive plant growth. 1820 *The collapsing Napoleonic Empire fights America via the French armed Arkansas and Comanche Indianans. *Revaloution hits the French state as Holland and Utrecht leave it in UDI. Only Wallonia is under Frances controlee in Europe now! *Prof Ram Pandit causes another unusually heavy rainstorm over northern Mexico and southern Texas causing massive plant growth. 1821 *America fights the French armed Arkansas and Comanche Indianans. *The Bahamas and Bermuda are annexed focibly of the tiny UK garrison forces! 1822 *USA: Integration of the Bahamas and Bermuda continues. *Tunisia and Monte Negro amp up their military. The UK and USA defeat Quebec at last 1823 *USA: Integration of the Bahamas and Bermuda continues. *The war with the Comanche, Apache and Arkansas continues. 1824 *USA: Integration of the Bahamas and Bermuda continues. *The war with the Comanche, Apache and Arkansas continues. '1824.5' *Russian held parts of Poland and the provinces of Bohemia and Moravia kick out there colonial masters after heavy war fair using the alien gifts to aid them. '1825' *The UK, Russia, the USA, Chile, Persia, Japan, Libya and France have a literacy campaign. *The Comanche, Apache, Seminoles, Navajo, Mohicans, Sioux and Pueblo rebel in their lands a massacre the settlers at the head waters of the Missouri, Kansas, the Cimarron River, and upper Arkansas River east of the high Rockies. Later they kill a few more at the Mescalero Escarpment, the Pecos River and lower Arkansas Rivers; setting up the land of Comancheria in it’s wake. Category:The funnier side of Althist world: Category:ASB - Random Category:Humor